Demon Turtles of my Youth

6th Grade art...Egyptian supposedly

     Today my mom decided it would be a good idea to clean out my closet, and for some reason I agreed...I'm pretty sure that she made my favorite food last night so I couldn't say no to her.With the taste of BBQ still on my mind I sauntered up to help clean my closet. I have a walk in closet so this was no easy feat, I mean, there is just so much crap that can be jammed onto that top shelf! Clutching her handy little step stool like some kind of cleaning Marine my mom marched into enemy territory and began the attack on keepsakes. As she began handing me box after box I was starting to regret my decision, this was a lot of prime nap time going to waste. Opening the first box I found a folder and was immediately transported back in time.

5th Grade:Jasmine and Anastasia

     I was an aspiring artist in fifth grade, and this folder was proof of my attempts at art. The pictures of princesses fell into my lap and I was mildly impressed with what I found. I mean, I could at least identify what princess I had drawn, and had gotten their facial features pretty decently. Setting aside my artwork I found a folder containing my old papers, and it was hilarious. In 8th grade I wrote an epic tale about a hippie named Smelly Stan who was left all by himself to paint the freedom van. It's good to know I was weird back then as well. Oh, and no worries about Smelly Stan he worked out all the problems he had with Flower Fran and Peace Paul, it's cool or as I wrote in my paper "groovy". Smiling a big grin at how ridiculous the story was I plunged further into the box, and was completely mortified at what I found.

DEMON!

No words to describe the horror

     "Eww!!!What the hell is this?!?!?!?" I screamed to my mother. "Throw it away!!!!!!!" This green blob was in my hands and I had no clue what it was. All I knew was that it looked suspiciously like something you find in a horror film, one of those possessed objects that comes to cut you in the night. A faint memory came forward as I looked closely at the item. Oh dear lord, I had made this monstrosity. My mom just looked at me and started chuckling as I slowly figured out what it was, the verdict? It was a turtle. His little deformed head went through the back of the hat just like it was his shell. I looked at my mom and told her it was a turtle, she just kept laughing at me as I looked at my creation in disgust. The funny thing about this was, my mom probably had to pretend at one point that she loved that turtle, my poor mother.

Oh!It's a turtle.Gross

     Thankfully, I didn't find anything else quite that scary in my boxes of mementos. It was a lot of fun to be able to look through those boxes and find old school work, toys, and pictures. My mom made sure I kept things that were important to me at one time, and they still hold that importance for me today. I was able to hold every item and remember just what it meant, and the fun I had playing with it. It took me a little over two hours to go through three boxes of keepsakes, and that didn't seem like enough time. Going through your childhood can be fun, but it sucks the energy right out of you and it made me feel old. The good news is that my closet is now completely cleaned and organized, and the scary demon turtle is in the trash. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow morning to find him waiting for me on my floor.