The Soccer Mom on Manners

Anything could happen!

     Saturday night, I was sitting in a small theatre excitedly waiting for the show to start. My favorite part of any show is right before it starts, because at that moment you know almost anything could happen. Looking around me I stared at the set and tried to imagine where the play would take me. It was at that time that a most unsavory item found its way into my sight-lines. Well, not so much found its way as shoved itself all up in my business. A woman was sticking her rear end in my face at a distance of less that a foot.Her butt was in my grill because she wanted to talk to the woman sitting in front of me, and the soccer mom in me was infuriated by her lack of manners. I was infuriated for a good 10 minutes, and that was a lot of posterior in my face. 

Spicy Tom's Tiny Transportation

   Honestly, is it so hard to be polite? Manners don't cost you anything and it makes life so much more pleasant for everyone involved. Like when you call a place of business and the person answers by saying, "Hello Spicy Tom's Tiny Taco Shack this is Winston", use their name when they give it to you. The correct response would be, "Hello Winston, I would like to order the teeny tiny taco tray." Then you end the conversation with the correct pleasantries. It costs you nothing and you eliminate the chances of Winston spitting on your teeny tiny taco tray.

Goat cheese man, but not smelly because he looks nice

    Another example of retail manners would be when you're at the checkout, checking out. For the love of all that is holy be nice to the cashier, they have to deal with people like you and with people like that big smelly guy in front of you who keeps asking why they won't use his expired coupon for goat cheese. If they ask you how you're doing respond with an, "I'm good, how are you?". Even if you are not in fact good, don't unload your problems on them because they have enough to deal with already (remember goat cheese man). By asking them how they are doing you are making it seem like you care and these means a lot to the retail folk (trust me, I used to be one of them). When you are polite to them, they are polite to you and your day will be filled with wonderful rays of sunshine, sprays of glitter, and herds of unicorns.

Seriously...Don't do this to people

     If you are aware of the correct politeness to use, and you do not then that makes you the big smelly goat cheese man. These are the people who steal the parking space you were so clearly going after. The individuals who think that it is okay to order a meal costing $50 and leave no tip. Our world is overpopulated with smelly goat cheese men and it is up to you to help decrease this surplus population. Do not stand in front of someone in a theater and stick your butt in their face as you talk to someone. Sit down in the chair next to them and hold your conversation that way. It makes it less awkward for everyone involved, because I'm pretty sure her chest was up in someone else's face. She is a smelly goat cheese man.

    There are so many situations where politeness should be used, and I'm going to go ahead and guess that people are very aware of these situations as they happen. For the love of Tiny Tom's Taco shack use your manners because the Soccer Mom expects it of you, and so does Winston. 

Don't let Winston down