Dream Big

   I don't know why I am so indecisive...I guess I just can't ever make up my mind as to what the real reason is. But it began at a young age, so it's probably something hereditary or maybe someone dropped me on my head (I'm on to you dad!). At any rate my indecisiveness has never been more prevalent than when I was trying to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I did have some consistency in wanting to be a mom, so that probably explains a lot about why I became the soccer mom that I am today. This desire went away soon after I found out how much babysitting stinks, but if I ever have kids I'll have a babysitter and pass on the "joy" that is children. Its a vicious cycle but someone has to educate today's youth on the horrors of...well today's youth. But now we shall take a magically journey across my childhood and into the mind of a young girl with dreams of one day becoming, well, something.
   My first grade days were filled with longing, and it wasn't for a bigger box of crayons; oh no I had big plans in mind. My little 6 year old mind was filled with these visions and it brought a smile to my sweet little face every time I thought about it. I just knew that it was my purpose in life to be a grocery store clerk. I wanted more than anything to stand behind the counter and smile at everyone as I scanned their groceries. If they were sad I would tell them "Turn that frown upside-down!" and everything would be wonderful with the world. In all of God's green earth I cannot tell you why I picked grocery store clerk as my path in life, but when I was in first grade that was all I thought about. In my library class we had to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up, so I drew a picture of myself standing behind the cash register and I also drew a picture of me being a mom. I know, I know, little me was insistent upon dreaming big. At least I wouldn't have to worry about huge disappointments in life, so perhaps I was just a very tiny realist. Thankfully, this dream of working in the grocery store only lasted for two years.

I seriously was the cat whisperer

   In third grade I really wanted to become a veterinarian. There was no question about my love for animals, as I spent most of my free time in the barn with the kittens. I would even go so far as to say that I was the Cat Whisperer. As I look back upon my days in the barn I am amazed at how I was able to tame the wild kittens. I really loved cats and I named every single one of them. Freckles, Big Ed, Little Orange, Stub, Esmeralda, and Fluffy are some of the names my young mind brought forth. I wanted to dedicate my life to caring for cats, dogs, cows, horses, and the occasional bird. Caring for animals was something that was second nature to me, in fact, I would sometimes put my zip up hoodie on my dog Erma to ensure her protection from the cold. Another reason for putting my jacket on the dog was because she looked hilarious when you put the hood up and there was a dog's face underneath that pick fabric. Alas, my potential veterinary success was thrown to the wayside when I entered fourth grade.

The most awesome pen ever

   In fourth grade my mom bought be a gold gel pen, and it was the single coolest pen I have ever owned in my life. This pen was what brought me to my new life's dream, to become a wedding dress designer. I would sit in class constantly doodling pictures of girls in wedding dresses which I would decorate with my gold pen. These dresses looked to me like something out of a fairytale because of all their gold shimmeryness. That pen was my constant companion all throughout fourth grade, and probably into fifth but for some reason I have repressed memories of 5th grade, and 6th grade too for that matter. Upper elementary was not really that thrilling and it wasn't until 9th grade that I picked a new career choice.
      When I entered the hallowed halls of senior high I revived my dream of becoming a veterinarian, for about two minutes. This dream was quickly killed when I walked into my science class and read a poster on the wall that had a list of careers that included science, and that damn poster had to say Veterinarian on it. For the record I hate science and it hates me. Something about walking into a science classroom kills all the joy I have inside, and this joy can only be brought back to life through musicals. At any rate I had to acquire a new dream very quickly because we had to do an assignment about a career we wanted, I decided to go with interior designer because I like furniture and paint just as much as the next person. This was a false dream though and it was soon replaced.

Bet you can't guess which one is me!

   Eleventh grade was the big one, friends. Eleventh grade was when I was Dorothy in our high school's production of "The Wiz". It was then I decided my new dream was to go into music so I could preform in musical theaters. I finally had the chance to sing loudly, dance, and act, in front of an actual audience! I loved everything about working on the musical, and I knew I had found a new dream. Somewhere along the line I decided that I needed to be a music teacher, and that was quickly squashed when I tried being a music major. We don't need to go into the whole big drama, let's just say I happily found my way over to the theater department and the English department.

My future looks bright

    Now that I am in college and supposedly on the threshold of growing up, I have absolutely no idea of what I want to do. I have asked my adviser what I can do with a B.A. in English and she told me I could do basically anything. So I asked my theater adviser what I can to with a B.A. in Theater and he told me I could do basically anything I wanted. While it's nice to have my options open, I can't help but feel I could have used a more direct answer. Who knows, maybe I will end up achieving my dream and becoming a grocery store clerk.