Cinder-woodchuck

     Once upon a time, in a land nestled gently into the corner of the magical state of Minnesota, lived a girl. To be truthful she was a peasant, but to make it interesting we shall deem her a princess. This princess lived in a beautiful palace that was under construction. On a fateful summers day the princess encountered a most terrible creature. She was frolicking outside to feed the royal hound when a brown blur ran past her and up the enchanted oak tree. The frightened princess let out a delicate shriek(an earsplitting yell in reality)and pranced hurriedly back into the palace. After several moments of frightened contemplation, she gathered her courage and went to stand under the tree. Her shining golden hair streamed down her back as she squinted high up into the branches. A mean, snarling, fury face squinted back at her. The royal hound, called Erma, barked at the fury face. The princess, being a bookish sort, consulted her magical electronic book to discover what sort of creature was in her enchanted tree. Her suspicions were confirmed as the magical book told her she was under the attack of none other than the evil woodchuck. The princess knew she had to fight the evil

The Evil One

one and so she went back outside to face the one she now called Diablo.

She called throughout the land for someone to come help her, but none would hear her plea. It was at this point in time she began to wish her parents hadn't taken a royal pilgrimage to the mystical land called Branson. It seemed that all the kings horses and all the kings men would not answer their calls. She sat with Erma and though out a battle plan. Her mind quickly thought of the royal hose. She ran to the hose and held it under the tree, aiming the stream of water at Diablo. Unfortunately, the stream could not reach through the branches of the enchanted oak tree. The princess contemplated the best way to fight a woodchuck. As she was not familiar with the ways of guns, she found the next best thing, yardsticks and painters tape. Using all of the strength and creativity she held in her royal body, the princess taped together four yardsticks with the bright blue tape. Hoisting the device onto her shoulders she thrust it into the tree...the device did not work. Spying the hose on the ground she picked it up and quickly taped it to her poking device, surely she could now vanquish the woodchuck. Attempting once more to de-branch the evil one she turned on the hose and hoisted the device back into the tree. Her attempt was met with a loud crack as the device fell to the ground, now split in two. She was growing concerned that Diablo would soon turn on her and leap from his perch right onto her royal face. The princess was by no means a beauty queen, but she had grown quite attached to her face. 

    The princess and her faithful hound Erma sat and pondered how to combat the evil one. Suddenly the princess remember the Queen of the Gardens. Surely this Queen would know how to defeat a creature such as Diablo. She called across the land to the home of the garden queen...who did not answer. The princess was distraught, but left a message after the beep. She turned in despair to the royal hound Erma, who just looked up at her with sad eyes. "I cannot climb a tree," they seemed to say, "but if I could I would vanquish him for you!" The princess gently patted the hound's faithful head. Sadly the princess had a prior commitment that caused her to leave the evil one in her tree.

     Thoughts of what Diablo would do in her absence filled the princess's mind. Images of the evil one leaping upon the faithful Erma and infecting her with rabies flew across her mind. Thoughts of a burning home filled her mind, and Diablo crouching in her bed left her mind with too much to bear. The princess hurried home   once

The Effects of Diablo

the prior commitment was taken care of. She rushed along in the royal carriage hoping the castle would still be intact(well as intact as it was before, it was under construction). Upon reaching the palace she saw the faithful Erma guarding the enchanted oak tree. Letting out a cry of relief the princess hugged Erma's neck and hurried inside. A most beautiful red blinking light greeted the princess and she listened to the mystical voice coming from the enchanted box. It was the Queen of the Garden. "Oh she has heard my plea!" cried the princess. The Queen of the Garden had indeed heard the plea of the princess and was sending for Gary the Mountain Man to come and rescue her from an almost certain death. The princess waited outside anxiously for the mountain man to appear. She glimpsed off into the distance and saw a cloud of dust rising. Her heart leaped with joy as she knew Diablo's minutes were numbered. 

    Gary the Mountain Man arrived at the palace on his faithful silver steed and walked over to the princess. He asked where the evil one was dwelling. The princess pointed with a shaking finger toward the enchanted oak tree. Erma stood guard as Gary the Mountain Man shouldered his trusty gun. A shot rang through the air as the princess held her breath. Diablo still clung to his perch amid the branches. Gary the Mountain Man shouldered his gun once more, and this time it rang true. Diablo's body began to free fall from the enchanted oak tree and landed right into the jaws of the faithful hound Erma. The princess thanked Gary the Mountain Man with much gratitude and waved as he rode off into the sunset. Happily the princess surveyed her castle and saw that all was well. 

    One year after that fateful day with Diablo the princess stood under the enchanted oak tree in the pouring rain under a bright red umbrella. She held a lit candle in her hand as she sang "Amazing Grace". Glancing up into the branches she saw a brown fury face surrounded by a bright white light, and then it was gone. A single pearly tear coursed down her cheek as she remembered the day she met Diablo.