The Holiday Soccer Mom

     I remember the day it happened. It was during the spring, and it was finally warm enough outside to wear a dress, and so I did. I'm quite fond of this particular dress, it's white with a brown floral print and I was wearing jean capris underneath it. I was also donning my kickass peep toed brown and blue wedge slingbacks. Feeling pretty good about myself I sauntered on down to the costume studio to see what was crackalacken. Little did I know what would happen next.
    As I entered the shop I was greeted by Eddy who said that I dressed as though I were from the 1950s. I was flattered because that was what I was going for, but then he finished his sentence. "You look like a 1950's mom. You've got Honda Oddessy stamped across your forehead." And thus began my life as a soccer mom. I had thought this might be a passing faze, but no, the soccer mom has continued to live on, so I decided to run with it.
    Friday night I went to the Holiday Theater dance which was also a costume contest. A brilliant shining idea fell from heaven as I took the old ugly Christmas sweater out of storage. This sweater is a true gift from God, it is the ugliest of all the sweaters. I was in a production of "The Best Christmas Pagent Ever" as the mom, so I had to get an ugly sweater, and boy did I find one. I went to the local thrift shop and searched there, not expecting to find much, but then I hit gold. Not only did it have "Mom" embroidered on the front, it was complete with a white dog wearing a sweater, hat, scarf, and on skis. So for the dance I used my mom sweater and created the holiday soccer mom. I used a plaid skirt, some tall black heels (soccer moms can be fashionable, because I said so), and of course the holiday antler jingling headband. I ratted my hair into a small poof, put on slightly heavier makeup, and whipped out the giant wreath earrings. She was ready to go.

Ready and rearing to go

Classy

  













One final prop made the Holiday Soccer mom a smashing success, a plastic wine glass. What Holiday Soccer mom would be complete without a glass in her hand? When the time came to announce the winners of the costume contest  I stood in anticipation with baited breath. Two winners were to be selected, which was good because the Virgin Mary was there, and you can't compete with that. The first winner was announced and it was, of course, the Virgin Mary. Shelby held the last gift card in her hand and announced that I had won as the Holiday Soccer mom. I ran up and held the $5 gift card to the campus grocery store tightly in my hand. Letting out a victory yell I screamed "I WON!!!" and I ran out of the theater as though my name had been called on the "Price is Right". It had been a good day for the Holiday Soccer Mom, and she celebrated by jumping onto the runway on the dance floor and giving a spirited rendition of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", because after all, that song was about me.

WINNER!