Guys who look like Jesus and Mark Twain

    It has come to my attention in my nearly two decades of life (I say nearly as today was my half birthday, no cards just money please) that people often look like other people.This is not always a good thing, as a complete stranger may remind you of that one kid from your English class that likes to take their shoes off and let their stank fill the room. But it can be a special gift from the universe when someone you see looks like a famous person. Most especially Mark Twain or the son of God, Jesus Christ.

     For the record I have been middle aged since I was born. The reason being that I was basically an only child because my sisters where 5 and 6 years older than me, we lived out in the middle of nowhere, and my parents were my gateway to the outside world. Since we lived out in the middle of nowhere it made it difficult for me to associate with kids my own age, so I just chilled with my parents and their friends. It is because of this that I have a huge love for Frank Sinatra, 1950s fashion, and old television shows. It was through old television shows that I first discovered the most amazing Mark Twain look alike, Will Geer.

Mark Twain

Mark Twain1

Not only does he look like Mark Twain, he even acts like him as he portrays the Grandfather on the 1970's television show The Waltons. Before you judge me for being old you should know that The Waltons is quality tv and it has some kickass characters in it. The next Mark Twain look-alike is one you all know and love, Mr. Einstein.

Mark Twain 2

Sometimes in the universe famous people end up looking like other famous people. I mean, just look at the Olson twins, or the cast of Jersey Shore. But it did not happen on Roseanne when they replaced the original Becky with Sarah Chalk.They DID NOT look alike. But back to important matters, like Mark Twain. I have two more look alikes, but neither of these men are famous. Taking pictures of them would just be awkward so I'm gonna go ahead and just tell you who they are, my Latin professor Dr.Schmoll, and my high school orchestra conductor's father. It shouldn't be too hard for you guys to picture what these men look like, I have faith in you.

     Now on to bigger and better things, mainly the man whom I believe looks like Jesus Christ. He is a celebrity, if you watch public television. Another tidbit you will learn about me, we didn't have cable when I was a child so I watched a lot of public television. My favorite show of all time was Arthur, that was some great television right there. But my father would make me watch New Yankee Workshop, and it was here that I found Jesus...well his look-alike anyway. It is my pleasure to show to you Mr. Norm Abram.

Norm Abram

Jesus

Not only does he look like Jesus, but here are a few reasons why I believe he is like the messiah.
1.He is a carpenter
2.He has a beard
3.He wears flannel(don't tell me Jesus didn't have casual Fridays)
4.He is a man
5.He spreads the good news(about carpentry)
6.He has the New Yankee Workshop, Jesus has the New Testament

Case in Point

Don't get me wrong, I am not making fun of Jesus here, I am just pointing out that some people have a lot in common with him. I do not believe Norm to be the actual Messiah, but you have to admit he has many shared qualities with Jesus.
     
    The next look alike I have selected also stems from my days in public television. He was one of the hosts of the do it yourself show This Old House. You have to realize my childhood was a time filled with shows on home improvement (including the show Home Improvement). May I present to you, the man that looks like Rick Moranis.

Rick Moranis

Steve Thomas

   








As you can see, these men share distinct facial traits. They probably have a lot of personality things in common as well. I think there is a lost This Old House episode out there where Steve Thomas shrinks his co-hosts.

      I owe quite a bit to public television. They helped me discover so much about life. Like having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card, how to build an antique table, that nature has some messed up rules, but most importantly, that people can look like other people.

Half Awake

     As we recently celebrated Thanksgiving, I was home for this most grateful of holidays. It seemed that every morning someone would come knocking on my door waking me up well before I was ready. My dad was the first offender. He cheerfully knocked on my door on Black Friday at the sensible shopping time of 8:30am.This would have gone over better if I hadn't been dreaming about Nazis and that they were pounding on my door looking for me. Being chased by Nazis put aside, I had a bonus of the day, I got a teapot that is an elephant. His trunk is the spout, he stands on his own legs, and he has a tiny little man riding on his back as the lid!It will come in useful for all the tea I need to stay awake.
     The next day was the most intense half awakedness I have had in quite a while. I was roused from my state of slumber by the loud repeated tones of a dog barking.Imagine for me, if you would, a dog barking, a big dog.Now add some kind of freakishly steady canine beat to it, stick it directly under my bedroom window, and you would have my Saturday morning alarm clock. Wanting to claim a few more hours of sleep I pulled my blankets over my head and tried to go to my happy place.I had almost succeeded when I heard the rhythm again. He must have brought out the tribal spirit within me because there were some strong emotions going on. I angrily went to open my window...it was frozen shut. My stream of profanities was stuck, just like my window, as I stomped down the stairs with rage. I opened the door, yelled at the dog to quit being stupid, and went back inside. To my dismay he ran over to the window and kept looking in at me. Not being completely heartless I was touched by his need for attention.This lasted two seconds as I pulled my dad's boots over my bare feet. Bleary eyed I stepped out into the crisp morning air and was savagely attacked by a giant blur of black fur. Snatching his collar I dragged him into the garage and stuffed him into his kennel. Having done my good deed for the day I sauntered upstairs to my bedroom to claim some blessed sleep.
    Not five minutes after I had finally achieved enough warmth to see images of turkey dancing in front of me I heard a noise. Most people will tell you the pitter-patter of little feet is something to be treasured, a precious memory, well most people haven't heard the stomping of an excited three year old in her footie pajamas. Soon enough I heard her banging on the bathroom door yelling at my mom "GRANDMA!!!What are you doing?" Apparently the sound of a shower running didn't imply that my mom was, in fact, taking a shower. She continued banging on the door asking my mom what she was doing. After she had satisfied her curiosity she selected her next victim. Thankfully I was not the chosen one, I heard loud knocking and a voice screaming "WAKE UP!!!" I cowered in fear as the number of doors to knock on was down to me. An angel must have smiled upon me though, or perhaps it was my sainted sister, at any rate I escaped the terror of my niece. The turkeys began to dance in front of me again but were rudely pushed away by two voices yelling in unison "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Joy...my nephew was awake, too.At this rate I figured sleep was far beyond me, but it was that moment that a ray of light shown down from heaven and blessed sleep returned. This ended an hour later as my sister cheerfully told me to get up.
       This morning as I was cradled in the arms of my beloved sleep somehow the pitter-patter of little feet made its way unnoticed to my door. A few loud knocks later, a three foot tall, footie pajama-ed niece was standing in my open doorway yelling "KERSTI, TIME TO WAKE UP!"