Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Holiday Soccer Mom Returns with Christmas Cat!

FINALS!
     It has come to my attention that I have abandoned you for over a month, and in this month I missed our one year anniversary. I am appalled that I let this most auspicious occasion pass without blogging, but I got busy again. In college there is this horrifying thing they call "finals" and this happens before you are allowed to escape the evil clutches of higher education for Christmas break. I think they call it finals because it feels like the final events of the world. This may seem, well, over-dramatic, comparing finals to the four horsemen of the apocalypse but they are pretty awful. All excuses aside, I'm blogging here today and we can all appreciate it and let me make it up to you by saying HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!Now "the rrrrRest of the story"(Paul Havery reference, don't get too excited about it...he's dead).
Kinda like that
     A few weeks ago I was sitting at home watching a movie, bored. I can't watch movies without doing something (i.e)sewing, homework, cooking, napping, all of which are excellent choices by the way. My cat just happened to hop up into my lap at that moment and a lightbulb came on in my head. I smiled like the Grinch when he saw Max and wanted to turn him into that weird unicorn-reindeer. Quintus happily kept digging his claws into my thigh as I looked at him. Throwing him onto the floor I ran into my bedroom, suddenly in the Christmas spirit. I dug threw my bags of fabric until I found what I was looking for, a soft red fabric. My Christmas brain moved at hyper speed as I spied an old bag of batting (that white fluffy stuff inside your pillow). Dashing away to the living room I threw the fabric out on the floor and cut the outline. Grinning wickedly to myself I grabbed my needle and thread.
Off the back for those more casual occasions
     Not 10 minutes later I held in my hand a Cat Santa hat, complete with beard. The only thing it was missing, was a cat. I knew I was going to need help with this so I waited for my boyfriend to arrive. Quintus is a great cat, but he can get pretty feisty if he feels the occasion calls for it. After Sam walked through the door I told him to grab Quintus and hold him down. I slipped the Santa hat over his little kitty head, and was mystified by the feeling of Christmas that overcame me. Looking down at my furry little Santa Paws I saw something glinting in his eye too, and it wasn't the spirit of Christmas. He did not disappoint me in being completely horrified by his Christmas garb.The angry Santa whipped his hat around until it fell down his back, whereupon he tried to buck it off. I stood there laughing at him as I reached for the camera. I had Sam hold Quintus tightly so I could snap a picture of him, and it was AWESOME! I showed it to all my friends, and they agreed that he looked completely miserable.
     You may be wondering why I would do something like this to my cat,but remember that after all, I am the Holiday Soccer Mom. Also, when you have to clean up someone's poop and barf and feed them constantly, you're allowed to have fun with them by harmless torture. And it's not like I sewed it onto his head and made him wear it forever. So as an anniversary/Christmas gift to you I have here the picture of Quintus in his Santa hat. Props to Sam for holding the angry cat (Sam did you notice I used the word apocalypse in this blog?), and props to Quintus for not biting anyone. Spoiler alert for you Quintus, tomorrow you get nail clippers and file for Christmas! Enjoy the catnip toy I gave you today to throw you off the trail!
                                                             HAPPY HOLIDAYS READERS!