1. (And this is the most important thing on the list) Food is the best way to show people you care about them.
My grandma was always ready with something for me to eat, whether it was homemade lefsa, an apple pie that she just happened to have taken out of the freezer that day, or a big tall glass of Sunny D. It didn't matter what it was, it always tasted good because Grandma was the one who gave it to me. Except this one time when I thought she left out a glass of milk for me, but she was leaving it on the counter to sour for cooking purpose...that did not taste good.
2. You have to take life one day at a time.
Marvel was a tough lady, I think anybody who knew her would heartily agree with that. She never got to finish school because she had to stay at home and help. She helped my grandpa though losing his arm, and again when he had a stroke and lost the use of his legs. Her own health also suffered after she had a heart attack and then had to have bi-pass surgery. Oh yeah, and she made it through having colon cancer when she was like 85. Grandma always told me that we have to take things one day at a time, and I know that's how she did it. Any time I would call her and talk to her about things that were bothering me she would calmly listen and say: "What can we do but take it one day at a time?".
3. Always stay close to friends you have made and the family you have.
It never ceased to amaze me how my grandma would stay connected with people she hadn't seen in a long time. Not a single Christmas would pass without a phone call from Sweden, and my grandma would answer with a hearty "God Jul!" to my grandpa's cousin on the other line. When my grandma was in her thirties she became best friends with the pastor's wife. Even after the pastor moved to another congregation, my grandma still stayed in close contact with her friend. My grandma would always smile as she remembered driving past the parsonage and honking extra loud, just so her friend would know who was driving by.
4. Singing makes everything more fun.
When I was in kindergarten I had the great joy of spending every Wednesday at Grandma's, since I
didn't have school that day and both my parents were working. It was during these many wonderful days that I had the great joy of learning several of Grandma's favorite songs. She would be dusting the top shelf of her China cabinet singing away "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do". I would smile at Grandma, and it didn't take long until I learned the words and could sing along with her. If she wasn't in the mood to sing about a tandem bicycle she would start "How much is that doggie in the window?". When we would get into her car to run errands, we would race to see who could buckle in first as we belted "Meet me in Saint Louie, Louie! Meet me at the fair!". I have my grandmother to thank for my wonderfully eclectic music taste, and the desire to sing no matter what I'm doing.
5. Greet everyone pleasantly.
My grandma would always answer the phone with "Good morning" or if it was later she would use the
appropriate time of day. She was always matter of fact with it, but it was a pleasant way to start the conversation. You could always count on this familiar greeting, and it was comforting to know that she really was wishing you a good morning. Grandma also loved to sign up as a greeter for our church on Sunday mornings. She would stand at the door in a snappy looking jacket with a smile on her face and warmly shake your hand as you came into church. If she didn't know I coming home and saw me at church, her face would always light up and she would give me a big hug. I'm going to miss those hugs.
6. You're never too old to try something new.
Growing up in a rather strict religion, my grandma had never danced in her life. That is, until she was
88 years old. At my cousin's wedding my uncle came up to my grandma and finally got her out onto the dance floor. Everyone watched with amazement as my grandma started cutting a rug. My 2 year old nephew couldn't resist dancing with great-grandma so he cut in, and the smile on Grandma's face was enormous. Another new thing my grandma was going to do was get a tattoo with me on her 90th birthday. She was thinking about getting a Norwegian flag on her foot or ankle, and I think she would have done it had she made it to January 8th. As it is, I have to go to the tattoo parlor by myself that day.
7. Make every hug count
There are so many wonderful things that I had the great privilege of learning from Marvel Miller, but I think the best thing I learned from her was how to give great hugs. Not once would I be able to see Grandma without giving her at least two hugs, one when I said hello and one when I said goodbye. These hugs really had to count because being good Scandinavians we very rarely said how we felt, and this is good because I get emotional whenever I try telling someone what they mean to me.
8. Know when it's time to let go.
This was a very recent thing that she taught me, and it's the hardest lesson I ever had to learn. One of
my last visits with Grandma I was sitting next to her and she told me it was important for me to be able to let go and not to dwell on her passing. Hearing this directly from her was so heart breaking that I burst into tears. I didn't want to have to say goodbye to her, but she knew that, and made me face what was happening. Grandma was always very straightforward, and you could always count on her for tough love when it was needed, even when she was dying.
Even though it's been almost two months since she died, not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Now, this could be because I have her Mount Rushmore souvenir daily flip calendar (you turn it toward you and the day changes), or it could be because the lessons she taught me are used every day. So even though Thanksgiving has passed, I am thankful for all the wonderful things that my grandma taught me.
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| Grandma at Christmas Last Year |
