A Skunk Wrapped in Plastic

Group of Male Models

    It was Monday night, and I had victoriously finished the last project of my theater class. Being pretty proud of myself I was just chilling in the theater lobby and checking my facebook, like any champion would. At this point in time my roommate began chatting with me, and she had some news for me. Apparently, our room smelled. Truly hoping that it was the smell of cologne after a group of male models had wandered into the room for a random dance party, I asked her what it smelled like. Her reply was concise, burnt plastic. Being hugely disappointed in the lack of male models, I set her sniffing around my side of the room to see if my hair straightener was the cause. It was not, and so I told her upon my return to the room I would investigate the smell.
    Less than an hour later I walked into my dorm, hoping the smell had gone away. I turned the key in the lock and opened the door to my room. The smell hit me so hard across the face I thought perhaps I had stroked out, it was the weirdest and the most confusing smell I've ever encountered in my life. Wandering around the room, nose first, I went about finding the source. A stream of profanities ran through my mind, with several disjointed thoughts interrupting them, the smell was so strong I may have been slightly asphyxiated. There was no limit to what I would smell. A list of what was sniffed includes: the lamp, my computer,Kate's computer, the tv cable, my hair heating devices, the radiator, my fan, and other mundane plastic objects. Full of angst and fumes I gave up the search in favor of facebook.

Not Our Actual Microwave

    The internet in my room is awful. There is a 50/50 chance I will be able to use it, and those are my odds on a good day. This just so happened to be the day my computer decided to be stupid and not let me go on the internet. In order to satisfy my facebook needs, I used Kate's computer. As soon as I sat down in her chair I noticed the confusing smell had gotten stronger. Could it be? I leaned behind her chair and opened the door to the microwave. Sticking my head in I used all the power I had to inhale. My body let out a huge cough in protest and told me I had found the origin of the smell. The smell in the microwave was indescribable, but let me try to describe it to you anyway. It was as though a skunk had wrapped itself up in plastic and crawled into our microwave to enjoy a few minutes of toasty-ness. Now that the problem had been located, it was time to take care of buisness.
    Kate came back to the room, and I let her know that our beloved microwave had betrayed us. After we comforted each other for a few minutes, we donned our snow gear and picked up the traitor. She held the cord as I picked up the microwave. We journeyed through the midnight snow to the dumpster, and it was here we laid "Filbert" as I had christened him. We placed him next to another microwave and a mini fridge, we thought they could rest in peace together. Kate said a few words over his useless electric corpse, and I whistled taps as we saluted our little buddy. Giving him a few kicks for good measure we left that disgusting heap in the snow where it belonged, but he wasn't done with us yet.

Not Exactly Wrapped in Plastic

    The horrible stench lasted for the next day, and it was combated with Febreeze and the freezing cold fresh air we had blasting into our window. While I was walking to my car the next day I glanced over to the spot where we had abandoned Filbert, but he was gone. The other fridge and microwave were still there, but he had mysteriously disappeared. I may never find out what truly happened to him, but I do have some ideas. I'm almost positive it was a tribe of skunks wrapped in plastic, coming to take him away. Either that or he is plotting his revenge, waiting for the perfect moment to return and emit his stank once more.