2. Decide you actually want to go to Grad school, and have subsequent metal breakdowns and periods of giddiness.
3. Contact your college professor and have her help you put together all your application stuff on the day of your 22nd birthday. IT MUST BE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!
4. Anxiously submit your materials by the first week of June...and wait...and wait...and wait
5. Be interviewed for Grad school a mere four weeks after you submitted your materials (during these four weeks you must pray fervently each time you enter the bridal shop you do alterations at, that you will be accepted to grad school).
6. Wait another three weeks to hear anything (they told you it would be two weeks, and you must email them timidly asking what is happening, then they will tell you to wait longer)
7. Pray frantically for grad school (or sweet sweet death) each time you deal with another bride who verbally berates you for charging too much (remember you can't work on commission but be paid hourly like a dope)
8. A mere three weeks before classes start (and three and half short weeks after the interview) you must receive your acceptance letter/email
9. Scream/clap to yourself and run out the door to the bakery/cafe your boyfriend works at to tell him the news
10. FREAK OUT!!!!This must be done positively and negatively...you could get mauled by a bear you know, but maybe the bear will be wearing a top hat and monocle and have you for lunch with tea!
11. Tell your boss you are giving your two weeks notice. You must feel morally terrible about it, as she had just told you she would be needing you more due to her very sick husband at home "So, is this a bad time to tell you I got accepted to Grad school and need to give my two weeks notice?" [exact quote]
12. Realize you have to drive 12 hours to a place where you know NOBODY!! AND NOTHING! Assure yourself you can drive 12 hours in one day.
13. Realize you can't drive 12 hours in one day. Book a hotel 8 hours away to push yourself to greater limits! (your positive demeanor assures you a 4 hour day of mountain driving will be a cake walk after 8 hours of boring road)
14. Pack frantically, but only the necessities! You know, only the things you can fit into your Conestoga wagon *cough silver impala cough*
15. Buy "Bossypants" written and read by Tina Fey on audio book (It's like she's in the car with you!)
16. Disrupt your cats daily lives by moving everything around and bringing out the suitcase, a surefire sign of abandonment
17. Have your boyfriend cram your mountain of
18. Try not to cry...cry a lot.
19.Drive across the wasteland that is North Dakota (you promised yourself you'd never do that again you lying bastard!)
20. Take 10 hours to get to the over halfway point you thought would only take 8 hours (you forgot about stopping for eating/bathroom/fuel)
21.Be blearily checked into the hotel by a friendly, mustachioed man at 11pm.
22. Make the final leg of your journey listening to "Bossypants" a second time (It's just like having my very own friend talking to me!)
23. Be greeted in your new town by a man named Dave (a Dustin Hoffman look-a-like) who is showing you an apartment (I may have set this up beforehand...or Dave is just magical and my life is just a sea of random people wanting to help me)
24. Find the house of your friend's boyfriend's friends where you've been promised a room to stay.
25. Have a cat named Moose welcome you with open paws.
If you follow this 25 step plan you, too, can move across two states!
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